"Rainy Days"

For those of you who know me well and follow my updates and albums on Facebook, it may seem that we're "living the dream." I'm always posting about all of our travels and sunny days in Dublin where the Guinness is flowing... but some people may be glad to know, it is NOT all lollipops and rainbows. There have been many rainy days, both literally and figuratively: the real rainy weather days and the emotionally "rainy days." You know, the in-between days... the ones that don't get documented in pictures.

I read a post on my friend Sam's blog, Hooah & Hiccups (it's fantastic, you should follow it!), about An Eeyore Kind of Day and it made me feel so much better to hear that someone else was comfortable talking about having a down day. Most of the time I keep it inside, but thought it'd be good to talk about it too...

Don't get me wrong, I love my life -- our life. I'm a newlywed, living in Ireland and traveling throughout Europe with my wonderful husband & best friend, sharing unforgettable experiences that are teaching me so much about life and about myself. That being said, this is also the hardest thing I've ever done. Granted, the fact that this is the hardest thing I've done makes me extremely thankful to have been fortunate throughout my life. But yes, uprooting my life and moving to another country overseas has been difficult at times... much harder than I ever anticipated.

St. Stephen's Green - packed on a rare sunny day

In the beginning, I felt like I was "on holiday" and not really living here yet, still hopped up on adrenaline from our whirlwind departure from the states and delighted by the idea of a little time off of work. I still thought the constant rain was charming and all part of the fun. "It's liquid sunshine!" (what one Irishman called rain, ha). However, once the initial excitement wore off and I got my fill of Netflix, I was left wondering what to do without a job or a soul to call here. I miss my family and friends, I miss the every day conveniences, I miss summer (just as people may envy pics from our trips, I was so envious to see pictures of my friends out on boats on Lake Michigan enjoying warm Chicago sunshine), I miss work and feeling productive -- I went through a nightmare process with the Irish government, resulting in my being unable to accept a great offer that I was thrilled about... and I'm still fighting the good fight for employment here and coping with being an "accidental housewife." 

With any big move, I know there are trade-offs... 2 sides to every story. I get to live in Dublin, but I worry that I'm putting my career on hold (even in this short time!). It's easy to travel Europe, but it takes much more time and money to travel home. I'm meeting tons of new interesting people, but I'm missing time with loved ones - visits with my family, my nephew/nieces' cute stages, my friends' weddings and babies...

Funny that this is one of the only pics I have of rain!

I know, I know... I live in Europe, woe is me! Of course, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but it's a day-by-day process. I'm slowly building a life here and constantly redefining who am I as a person. It takes time and it's a growing experience. In addition to my husband being a fantastic support system, I'm learning how to support myself and maintain perspective. In the grand scheme, missing 6 months of work (not to mention for a legitimate reason) doesn't matter... In many ways, it's a blessing that I'm able to take a step back and remember that work should not define me. I want to work to live, not live to work. As much as I'm missing family and friends now, we have the rest of our lives to settle down closer to home.

It's not easy to open up and let everyone know that I have "rainy" days. I usually don't like to talk about it because I think no one wants to hear about the bad stuff, or I worry people wouldn't understand how I could be down, what with a new marriage and our jet-setting lifestyle... 

But here it is: I have "rainy days" (and the abundance of actual precipitation doesn't help either!). There are ups and downs to every circumstance in life, including ours. Some days are terrific, some days are among the most emotionally taxing I've had. Writing is certainly cathartic, but it's important to be real and talk about it too. To anyone having a "rainy day," don't be afraid to talk about it! It happens to us all, and it makes you stronger in the long run. This journey is strengthening me every day. 

Here's hoping I can call rainy days "liquid sunshine" more often!